The Last Snowflake
by BurningCrystalEyes
Summary: Four words for you: sadness, love, rain and snow. Magnus and Alec, Rated M.


**A/N: So I know I should be working on all my other stories... but tonight my grandpa had an attack and is in a critical state at the hospital... and I just didn't feel in the mood for happy romance storie... **

**Warning: this is boy and boy love, if this is not your style feel free not to read I love and respect everybody. Also this is a sad story, but still very romantic. No beta I just wasn't in the mood to have anyone go over this, so please excuse my English. Also I am awful with ratings... is this Mature enough to be an M... I don't know... but I don't want to traumatize T readers... so yah... that's that. Spoilers for COFA, and other books before that.**

_Italic_** = FLASHBACK**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Magnus or Alec or any other TMI stuff, Cassandra Clare does.**

**I would like to dedicate this story to my Grand-papa. All I wish and hope for... is that you get better. When I was a little girl you use to read me this poem by Robert Frost, it inspired this story:**

_Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening_

_Whose woods these are I think I know.  
His house is in the village, though;  
He will not see me stopping here  
To watch his woods fill up with snow.  
My little horse must think it queer  
To stop without a farmhouse near  
Between the woods and frozen lake  
The darkest evening of the year._

_He gives his harness bells a shake_  
_To ask if there is some mistake._  
_The only other sound's the sweep_  
_Of easy wind and downy flake._  
_The woods are lovely, dark and deep,_  
_But I have promises to keep,_  
_And miles to go before I sleep,_  
_And miles to go before I sleep._

**(A/N: Not mine check A/N above for more details)**

The Last Snowflake

He sat alone in his bed. The world outside was another world, a different one, a stranger. He did not recognize this world, the one he'd been brought into, the one he'd learned to admire, the one he'd learned to cherish, to love. He looked out his window, through the curtains of rain, and all he saw was rain. Rain. Rain. And more rain. As if rain itself had enveloped the world and turned it into a shadow of its previous self. The world was dark now, and it hurt him. The world he knew was gone now, and it broke him. The world he loved was destroyed now, and it erased him, leaving behind only a ghost of what he used to be. He sat there thinking of those last days of sunshine, and he felt his heart turn cold.

_The sun was blinding._

"_Alec" Magnus whispered against the heated skin of Alec's neck._

"_Magnus" Alec moaned back. The heat was strong, and their bodies moved against one another in perfect fluid motions. It was hard to breathe, it was hard to think. But they didn't want to breathe, they didn't want to think, they wanted to feel. _

_The sensations crawled on their skins, and the sweat clung to their bare backs. Magnus rocked against Alec, as the Shadowhunter met with each thrust from the warlock. They were in perfect sink; a perfect harmony. The beat was going strong inside the both of them, their hearts were going wild, their breathing was erratic, and their whispered words of love were strong and passionate._

_It wasn't long before the symphony reached its climax. Alec reaching it first, as bright stars and golden sparkles explode behind his eyelids. Magnus was just instants behind him, exploding with the same force and vitality. They rolled off each other as the sound of their love echoed in time. _

"_I love you" they said simultaneously to one another, as they turned face to face. Did Magnus start laughing first of was it Alec? No one will ever know. _

_Their laughter echoed over the walls, and the kisses they shared after that were loving and sweet, just like the lemonade they'd shared before bed. If only they knew._

It wasn't physical pain; no physical pain would be like mercy to him at this point, a distraction. But he couldn't move from where he sat alone on his bed. He couldn't even dream of getting up and walking to the bathroom, or to the kitchen or even to the stupid window to close the damn curtains. No he couldn't move. Because the pain he felt wasn't physical, it was inside his heart, burning away his soul. Soon nothing would be left of it he was sure, his heart would be a pile of dust, and his soul would become smoke in the wind; invisible, dirty and gone.

But his body would remain, he knew it would. Nothing could make that piece of flesh disappear now. He knew it. They would try to stop him, and beside he'd made a promise. A promise to _him:_ that he wouldn't die.

But what is death? He asked himself. Is it the end of a body? Is it the end of the soul? Is it the end of the heart? What is the end?

He had no answers; all he knew was that death right now death was not option. He'd lost so much to Death already; he'd lost everything to it, he would not loose himself too. He owed him better than that. He owed him love, he owed him everything.

_The sun was shining on the side walk, as Alec and Magnus made their way to the institute. It had been a while since they'd both walked these grounds maybe a week or two; after the battle downtown where they'd kiss in the overcrowded lobby full of Shadowhunters. The doors were massive and made out of the thickest wood. Alec pushed them open and Magnus followed quickly behind him. They walked to the library, where books were piled on manuscripts, and manuscripts were thrown over books. Alec's father Robert awaited them; he sat behind the impressive handmade desk his arms crossed over the wooden surface._

"_Alec." Robert nodded. Both Magnus and Alec stopped mid tracks._

"_Dad." Alec responded._

"_We need to talk." Robert said rising up from his chair and walking around the desk so he could face them "This, cannot go on any longer."_

"_What do you mean?" Alec asked._

"_This." Robert said gesturing to Alec's hand in Magnus's._

"_Magnus and I?" Alec asked._

"_Yes." Robert nodded._

"_I thought you said you were fine with me being gay." Alec protested quietly._

"_I am." Robert said without explaining his thoughts any further._

"_It's me you are not fine with." Magnus stated after a short awkward silence._

"_Nothing personal... the Lightwoods cannot be associated with more Downworlders anymore." Robert said._

"_I understand Sir." Magnus began but Alec grabbed him by the arm and pulled him outside the institute, where soft clouds had begun to appear in the sky. "Alec? What's going on?"_

"_Magnus I can't do this." Alec whispered._

"_What do you mean?" Magnus asked confused._

"_I can't do this without you." Alec said his blue eyes staring in Magnus's green ones._

"_Alec he's your father you already lost Max, I can't make you choose between me and your family." Magnus said._

"_You are my family Magnus." Alec took a fortifying breath "Please, please don't leave me. I love you"_

"_I would never. Alec as long as you want me, I'll be here. I'll be here till the end of time if I have to. I love you Alec." Magnus said, grasping the boy and pulling him close to him in a tight embrace. Their lips caressing, their legs intertwined, their hips brushing together, as the clouds began to settle above them, soft rain falling down, obscuring the last rays of sunlight._

The rain wasn't falling down any more; it had been replaced with a thick substance half way between rain and snow. It was cold outside now, so cold he could feel it inside. This weather reminded him of a lot of different things. It reminded him of long afternoons cuddled with _him_ on a couch, listening to_ his_ breathing, feeling the caress of _his_ fingers, and _his_ soft lips on his. The world had turned grey; the world had shifted and no longer made any sense.

They lied, all those who said that after a dear one goes missing the world stops, they are wrong. The world never stops, not even when it should. When _he_ left, the world didn't stop, it started spinning faster than before and in the wrong direction. The world was now a confusing place, where the only feelings that lived were the ones he'd felt with _him_. Where the only memories that remained were the ones they'd share. Where the only thing that echoed in his mind were his last words:

_The light rain which had begun to fall last week had turn to a strong rain, which had now turned to snow. It fell softly around them, making the scenery surreal, like a dream. They stood by the edge of the forest. One stood back, the other near the line of trees._

"_Don't go." The first one said._

"_I have to." The other replied walking behind the line of trees._

"_Please, don't go." The other one whispered as a last plea._

"_Don't worry, I love you and I promise you I'll be right back."_

_I'll be right back..._

He never came back.

Alec sat alone by his window, outside the rain had turned to snow. It had been a year now, and still he could not sleep. It had been a year now, and still he could not sleep.

**A/N: Hi, sorry if it was so depressing... Is Magnus dead? Is he alive and just gone for a freakishly long walk in the woods? Why was he going in the woods in the first place? I don't know. **

**Life is like that... sometimes you just don't know why things happen.**

**Sorry again if it was sad, and full of mistakes, I wrote it fast, reread myself once... so yes... sorry ;) I hope you liked it anyways :) **

**I posted this for my Grand-papa, which I love dearly and I hope he feels better soon, I hope he is only taking a short walk in the Woods and won't stay in there for too long :) **_**Je t'aime Grand-Papa, j'espère que beintôt tu te sentiras mieux. **__**Gros bisous, ta petite-fille qui pense à toi. **_

**Thanks for reading. And please for me as a special request, tell someone close to you that you love them, that is that all I want. No reviews necessaries, just tell someone: "I love you" or "I like you" you have no idea how much of a difference it makes ;)**

**Lots of love,**

**Burning Crystal Eyes**


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